Donut the frog you just hop 
where you want you never stop 
until you stop right where you want
then you stop

mating season comes once a year 
that's the reason the ladies fear 
you'll hump them and you'll pump them
till you've spilled your load
or so I'm told

Deformed Little Pinkie Toe

People staring (I'm not caring ......)
I'll wear my sandals in the rain
I'll tell you ma I'm not ashamed
to wear my sandals in the rain

They say that boy he has no shame
he wears his sandals in the rain 
I tell you ma I'm not ashamed 
to wear my sandals in the rain
I'm not scared to show my little pinkie toe

DEFORMED LITTLE PINKIE TOE
DEFORMED LITTLE PINKIE TOE
DEFORMED LITTLE PINKIE TOE
PINKIE TOE STINKY TOE

CLONE RANGER

VERSE #1
They cloned a sheep, they cloned a carrot
They'll clone a woman and a faggot.
Never stop till they reach the target
Someone will always ease the budget

BRIDGE
Hey you punkass
Fuck you punkass
Up yours punkass
Suck my punkass

LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY CLONE

CHORUS
And the world we're living in gets stranger
for everyone looks the same - let us thank the clone ranger

VERSE #1
and when they're finished perverting nature
we look ahead to a few years later
by then no one can remember
what is what like before they changed it!

[REPEAT BRIDGE & CHORUS]

Summer 'O' 88

Sitting on my deckchair
watching all the crabs on the beach
buckets and spades watch I don't get aids 
dodging all the needles at my feet

Smell a funny smell like the juice from a bin
oh my god the tides coming in

Children play on the sewage pipe
unaware that it pumps their shit to sea
as the tide goes out it leaves a sanitary towel 
for a seagull to try and eat

I go home as it starts to rain
knowing that we're to blame 
for the summer 'O'88
litter lying everywhere
I'll never forget that seaside air 
in the summer 'O' 88
Sitting on your deckchair
Do you ever want to help clean up this mess?
I have to laugh as I watch a crab
picking up a wrapper left by some dumb ass

I go home as it starts to rain
knowing that we're to blame 
for the summer 'O'88
litter lying everywhere
I'll never forget that seaside air 
in the summer 'O' 88

Let Me in I'm Starving

The streets have all gone quiet
waiting for the bomb
these streets once held riots
but the kids have all gone home
Youth explosion lies in the gutter
kicked till he bled
we'll just have to find another
this time use our heads

don't say no
just let go
something new
right and true

Let me in I'm starving
there must be something good to eat
it must be love that I'm having
I haven't slept for a week
I'd like a donut and a cup of coffee
would you like one too?
or would you like something different?
would you like something new?
and so the song is ending but did it really start?
and now its's time to take you into the heart
of the land that fits and farts
donut ...................

the kids have gone home

I'm fed up with steps
I'm fed up with five
I look at the past and I feel deprived

but the karaoke king
with his sovereign ring
dials his mobile phone
on the train going home
don't think twice for me
it's not nice to be on your own
now the kids have gone home

Brian Adams has scabs
Robbie Williams is fat
being gay is a fashion
everyone's smoking fags

but the karaoke king
with his sovereign ring
dials his mobile phone 
on the train going home
don't think twice for me
it's not nice to be on your own
now the kids have gone home
but the karaoke king
with his sovereign ring
dials his mobile phone 
on the train going home

Colouring In

Once there was a man
Who spent all of his time
Pushing a pram
Round town
People thought he was mad
Cause his child had died
It's crying made
No sound

Once there was a girl
Who tried to rule the world
She had the IQ
Of ten men
It's a little wonder why no-one heard her cry
She should have stuck to
Colouring in

I've read all the cleaver words
Said by clever men
But I didn't understand what those words meant
So I read them again

Once there was a gran
Who said she let a man
Pack her suitcase home
She is rotting in jail
Her family plead her bail
Now she's sniffing on her own

Nature Calls

We've got too clever, too big for our boots
We meddled with nature and we'll lose
But we don't think, until it's too late
And nature is one thing, we don't abuse
But if there's a product, an untapped avenue
Someone will smash it, and when they do
We will have destroyed, the children's innocence
We will have broken another rule
And the word is love ……
It came out of our hearts
You know it but by the time
You show it it's too late

Bad Mood

You and me were meant to be 
Sitting in your room drinking cups of tea 
but someone went in a bad mood 
cause her tea was stewed

Most of the time we get on swell 
but lately you know it feels like hell 
you call me a dirty perv 
we'll you've got a nerve

and every time I hear a whine 
it makes me think of you 
and when you cry I wonder why 
and I don't know what to do 
so I cry too boo hoo hooo 
I'm gonna cry that bad mood out of you

You and me should make a pact 
that you'll lay down on your back 
everytime we fall out 
I'll give you something to shout about 
I'm sorry if I seem rude 
you moan at how I eat my food 
what does it matter to you? 
If I chew

Slugabed

When you're lying cosy warm at night
Under the covers cuddled in so tight
Remember what I said
A little slug has crawled in your bed
Yawning in the morning you reach for your bowl
New day is dawning but your feet are cold
Five more minutes instead
You look kike a slug in bed
Let me take you by the hand
Slugabed in slumberland
When you're lying cosy warm at night
Not a sound electric blanket burning bright
Your sweet dreams will come to a halt
Just like a slug bubbling in salt
Let me take you by the hand
Slugabed in slumberland

Little Ship

Little ship floating in the water
blue seas but where is the calm
the captain fears he'll never see his daughter
hungry and lost no sign of land
so scared that he'll make the wrong decision
he has no map, he has no plan
the fog ain't lifting ain't no use in wishing
can't tell the crew they won't understand

I think I'll hide from the turning tide
I think I'll catch the next wave
and all the chances fade with time
Wake me up when we've been saved.